Melissa Giovagnoli
Networlding
September 18, 2006 | by brett | Permalink
Twenty years from now, 99% of the people you know will have a life that is more difficult than the one they are living today. They will work harder and longer, have more responsibilities to worry about and will be stuck in a “this” and then “that” mentality. (”This” meaning a job that brings no fulfillment but is financially rewarding and “that” meaning the passion or dream that they can pursue once “this” is completed.) The problem is that they never get to “that.”
A mere 1% will figure out some way to make their lives easier and will not be stuck in the “this,” then “that” mentality. So how do we make life easier and enable ourselves to pursue a career that will leave us happy and fulfilled?
Ever since Melissa was a college graduate she has been fascinated with networks. She owned a word processor before they even hit the market! Her first job out of school was rewriting computer manuals for corporations, which to some of us, sounds like torture. Her fascination with computers, and their potential networking abilities, made her life much easier.
Twenty years later she is still fascinated with networks and has transformed her passion into a career. Her concept of “Networlding,” is named after her best selling book on Chicago’s Amazon for a year straight. Networlding is the science and art of making meaningful connections and leveraging those connections in new and powerful ways.
For most of us, we already have a sense of networking and have practiced it in some kind of way. But let me say right now that networking is not shoving your business card or resume into someone’s hand. Rather, it is based on growing relationships with others who have similar and complementary values and interests.
The main thing that we took away from this interview is that networking is so simple in its approach that it is often overlooked. We don’t think about who the ten people are in our primary circle. We often do not keep in touch with people that are somewhat weak ties. And why should we?
Melissa would argue, for many simple reasons. The whole concept is simple to understand, simple to implement and even more simple to execute. The only thing that you need is a desire to understand the importance of networlding and how to practice it. With that, I am going to do my best to convey what we learned from our interview with Melissa.
Melissa understood from an early age that networks make life easier. Networking is your life and your life is your network. This means the connections you make in the present will be to ones to help you in the future. Whether it is a reference for a job or a casual acquaintance, your contacts and connections will be the people you go to to make your life easier. They are your network and the life you lead creates that network.
Let me ask a question that Melissa posed to us.: “How many “Oprah’s” do you need in your network?” Before you answer, think about ten people you want in your network and what roles they will each play within your primary circle. Think about the qualities that they posses and how this will make your life easier. Now, how many “Oprah’s” do you want in your network?
As much as I’d like to have, maybe, 5 “Oprah’s” in mine, the answer is one. Most people say they don’t need anyone else in their network. Why? Because we can only connect with so many people regularly at one time in our lives. We also know about the need for a variety of characteristics and qualities of the people within our circles. Oprah is a great connector, but what about negotiation? Or what about knowledge? Accounting? These are also people that you would want in your circle because it strengthens the ability of your network and will make your life easier.
On the topic of weak ties, there is no excuse as to why you shouldn’t keep them with the tools that are available today over the internet. Myspace.com, Facebook.com, as well as Linkedin.com allow you to connect with people that you otherwise would not be able to connect with. Oftentimes, these people that you have weak ties with are the ones that can get you a job!
Also, researching useful ways to network will be beneficial to building your relationships. More information regarding these networking lessons are available by signing up for a newsletter on the Networlding.com website!
The lesson is that networking is the secret to making your life easier and work better. And if you want that freedom, start now.
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THERE ARE 4 RESPONSES TO THIS INTERVIEW
Justin Says:
October 15th, 2006
I am happy that Melissa has found her passion in life and that she is sharing that knowledge with others. However, this article seems more suited to a job fair workshop than a site dedicated to helping students pursue their passions in life. How exactly does “networlding” free you from the “this” and then “that” mentality? Furthermore, I find it personally apalling that someone would want to restrict their “primary circle” of friends to people who were chosen simply for the potential services they can provide you in your life. Forgive me if I misunderstood the message here, but that appears to be the same selfish mentality that has people living their lives in fear, afraid to take chances and live their dreams. Why not surround yourself with people who you truly care about, people who encourage your dreams and who you genuinely feel good being around. Who can honestly consider the notion of the “net worth” of their network and consider themself a true friend? I can appreciate the importance networking and building connections, but to only cultivate relationships with people who can offer you some beneficial service is selfish and will never be truly rewarding.
Brett Farmiloe Says:
October 17th, 2006
Justin,
First of all thank you very much for your feedback. As much positive comments as we receive, I find it very comforting and worthwhile to receive the negative ones too. Here is my response to your comment:
1) I fully agree with your comment about using people for what they have and for their title is appalling, but I don’t think that is the exact message that I was trying to make in this story. I don’t think that I fully explained the difference between the networking and networlding concept. Networking is essentially using people for what they have. Networking stuffs a business card in a person’s hand and has a mentality of a one-way street. The one-way street metaphor is important to understand because what Networlding does is make this one way a two way. With networking, people do want something from you because of a title or what they can give you. Networlding is about building a relationship with a person that you that you get along with, and there is an opportunity where you can help each other out, instead of just them helping you out. So I hope this clears the confusion between networking and networlding.
2) The this and then that mentality. All I am trying to say here is that by having people in your “network” that can potentially help you (although this is not your original intent of why they are in your network) it will make it much easier to be able to do what you want now instead of later. For example, when I was trying to get this project off the ground, I connected with an entrepreneur in Chicago by the name of Barry Moltz. I contacted him because I really liked an article I saw he had written and wanted to include him on the interview list. What transpired is that he saw that he could help us substantially, and we could help him because he was writing a book. What he did was helped us build a website, and connected us with people in his network to interview in exchange for us asking a few questions and attaching his name to the project. By having this connection, we were able to make the Pursue The Passion trip happen, basically breaking out of the this then that mentality and taking the idea seriously instead of putting it on the backburner.
I hope this helps you understand the concept of Networlding, and please let me know if you are still opposed or are unclear about the concept. Thank you for the feedback and I hope you continue to find holes in our idea or writeups because that will only make it stronger for others. Thanks!
Justin Says:
October 18th, 2006
Brett, thanks for responding. Your clarification certainly put the article in perspective and emphasized the helpful collaborations that can occur through cooperation and networlding. Good luck with your book and future road trips (aren’t they the best?) and hopefully I’ll be able to throw you guys some gas money one of these days.
Albert Argüelles Says:
November 17th, 2006
Guys,
First of all, I want to applaud you for JUST DOING IT ! Many of us have many ideas and fear is the number one obstacle holding us back from taking action. I truly believe every person in the world has a million dollar idea in their mind; if we just take it out of there and into the world of reality !
Networlding is definitely the next step for anyone interested in taking their dreams to their deserved heights. This life is truly magical in that when you have purpose and decide what it is that you want to pursue the universe begins to send peope your way to accomplish whatever may be. Without people our dreams literally cannot come to fruition. Building personal relationships based on trust, friendship and basic human warmth makes the difference in finding success and attaining it.
I played in some bands and even got out of college for some years to attempt my dream. Networlding definitely takes the number one spot in making something ordinary extraordinary! Passion is the key also to keep taking action on your dreams and visions. Failure is the surest way to success if you keep on chucking along as if nothing mattered.
Seek out those who have the same vision as you and your dream will materialize undoubtedly.
Good luck to all who read this website! YOU CAN DO IT !
Thanks,
Albert.
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